beautiful addiction

Over the past few months I have spent countless hours in waiting rooms to seen by my doctors. I hate waiting. I hate making an appointment for 10am and then not getting a glimpse of the doctor until 10:45, only for them to rush back out of the room because they “forgot something”. I don’t know about them, but appointments mean something to me. Being on time is something I like to add to my list of strengths. My time apparently means nothing and is ok to be wasted…but if you’re a half hour late? You get charged (even if they can’t fit you in to still see the doctor) and most often have to come back another day. So they want you to be on time…they just don’t have the time to fit you in at your scheduled appointment slot! It’s ridiculous.

There have been times where I’ve been waiting so long that I thought the nurse had forgotten to put my chart outside the door or something. Sitting in a little room for an hour without so much as a “the doctor will be with you in just a few minutes, sorry for the wait” is really kind of unforgivable. And yet I’m always too shy to actually open the door and peek out or ask what’s going on. So I sit. I watch the clock. I play on my cell phone. And, always, the doctor comes rushing in all frazzled like the world is crashing down around her.

Went to the dermatologist this morning to see how the meds are working for me. Turns out my blood work came back fine, aside from being a little anemic (which I’ve been for a while). The doctor said that he wants to start weening me off the Dapsone over the next few months. There are pros and cons.

Pros? If we can ween me off the medication it’s possible I will go into remission for an indefinite period of time. That’s a good thing. I don’t believe I should be taking medication if I don’t necessarily need it. So I would love to be off this for however long it could be.

Cons? He’s had patients before that, when weened off, their symptoms come right back and then the Dapsone doesn’t work as effectively as it had the first time around meaning that treatment can get difficult at that point. He dropped me from 50mg/daily down to 12.5/daily…so I guess we’ll cross this road if and when it comes.