beautiful addiction

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Yes, indeed they are.  After I folded all the laundry the other day they decided they wanted to help somehow.  Not knowing how to put the laundry away for me, they decided it was best that they lay on top of all the clean clothes.  Yes.  That was a big help.  Now if I could only teach them how to use a lint roller to clean up after themselves then we’d be all set!.

In other news I decided to use up some of the veggies I bought from the farmer’s market to make a veggie stir fry.  It turned out really good!  I put in a zucchini, tomato, onion, green pepper and banana pepper and cooked it with a little extra virgin olive oil and seasoned it all up.  Turned out very tasty.  Of course, I’m the only one who will eat it because Dave hates veggies, but whatever.  Made a good lunch yesterday and I still have quite a bit left over.  It’s really good if you sprinkle some feta cheese on top.  Mmm.

Other than that, not much going on.  We’ve got a week before we go to Chicago for Dave’s business trip.  We’ll be there for a week (Monday-Monday) and then coming home.  I’m excited because it’ll be a good opportunity to actually save some money since his company is paying for everything, including his food ($35 per day).  That’s a week we won’t have to pay for groceries or gas or anything.  Plus we won’t be home, so the electric bill should be a bit lower.  So even though I’m paying a friend $50 to come take care of the cats every other day, we’ll still be making out better.  Especially since Dave will be getting paid for the drive there and back, plus overtime and mileage and all kinds of stuff.  Will be good for us, financially.

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1. I’m enjoying all the jam we made a few weeks back. I’ve been having toast with jam on it for breakfast and/or snacks. So yummy.
2. Our homemade canned pickles came out just wonderful, too! I’m so glad. We were worried because we’d never made them before.
3. I did three loads of laundry today. I hate laundry.
4. Our air conditioner broke over the weekend, but got fixed today. I’m going to still try to use the box fan in the bedroom window at night to save on our electric bill. We’ll see how that goes.
5. I love Glade Scented Oil candles. They smell amazing. The refills are kind of pricey because I go through them so much, so I’m trying not to burn them as often. *pout*
6. Spent a while organizing my iTunes on my desktop computer since I had to migrate over from my laptop when I sold it. I’m now on last.fm again if you want to check that out. Still has my stats from 2005 but I didn’t want to make a new account, so I’m just going with it.
7. I’ve got cramps crazy bad and just want to curl up and sleep. But I just woke up from a nap on the couch. At 10pm. Ugh.
8. Currently reading “Fight Club” and so far it all matches up really well to the movie. I’ve got another 35 or so books on my shelf to be read after that. Yes, really.
9. I went to the farmer’s market today and bought a few pounds of potatoes, 2 huge green peppers, 2 banana peppers, 6 tomatoes, and a zucchini for $8.50. I’m happy about that.
10. I made homemade potato salad for the first time ever and it turned out yummy. Needs more mustard though.
11. I am looking forward to the end of the month so that I can do a summary of my finances and then set new goals for August since this month didn’t go as well as planned. I’m a geek, I know.
12. I miss my family.
13. …and my best friend. We were supposed to have lunch last week but she wasn’t feeling well. She will be giving birth in the next few weeks and I’m so excited for her.
14. Dave is currently napping on the couch where I left him when I woke up, and he looks so peaceful that I don’t want to wake him up.
15. I should really wake him up so he’s not awake all night when he has to be up for work at 7:30.

So, I spent nearly $500 on an eye exam, a 1 year supply of contact lenses, and a new pair of glasses (lenses and frames) the other day. The vision place called me earlier this afternoon to tell me my stuff came in and I could come pick them up before 5:30. So we did. And I love my glasses. I feel so emo (or artistic/smart). I can’t decide which, haha. I’ve wanted this style of glasses for a long time but never had the courage to actually get them. I’ve gotten compliments from Dave (he’s biased!) and my friends (yay!) so I’m thoroughly enjoying them.

We had Will and Nick over the other night and splurged on pizza for dinner and then some liquor (I spent $30 and Will spent $30 and Nick bought all the juice and stuff to go with it) to make Jolly Rancher shots and Bahama Mama mixed drinks (like you can order at Applebee’s). It was a wonderful evening of drinking and Guitar Hero. Once we were winding down we watched “Edward Scissorhands” on TV until 6:30 in the morning when we decided it was a good time for sleep.

The only bad thing was that when I opened the freezer halfway through our night of fun and games, the bottle of Malibu Banana Liquor came sliding out and exploded at my feet. I got two little shards of glass in my right foot but no other damage. Aside from the $15 bottle of liquor that was wasted thanks to my failure to catch it as it decided to make a leap when I reached for the ice cream… *sad*

Anyone out there?  Hello?…

I went into Wal-Mart today (which I don’t normally do anymore) to pick up a few things and ran into some old co-workers of mine. Awkward. That’s why I usually try to go at night when I know I won’t have to talk to people I know. (And this wasn’t even the Wal-Mart I was fired from. It was the one I worked at before my last store.)  Now I feel so out of place in a spot that used to feel so comfortable.

Anyway, I was asked by about 4 different people, “What are you doing now? Where are you working?” to which I replied, “I’m enjoying my summer off and taking advantage of the unemployment while it lasts,” with a smile on my face. When asked how everything is going I reply, “Couldn’t be better! We’re going to Chicago in a few weeks for a business trip for Dave’s job. Then we’re going to Myrtle Beach for a week in September. Definitely enjoying ourselves!”

And all of that is true.

But what I don’t say is, “Money is tight and I sometimes wonder how I’m going to pay my credit cards bills. I’ve resorted to making money online by doing surveys and product testing. We’re further in debt than we’ve ever been before. I use coupons for almost everything that I buy because I really need the discounted price. I’m stressed and nobody will hire me, even though I’ve got a good work history and a college degree under my belt (and another one almost completed). I’m embarrassed to cash my unemployment checks because I feel like people look down on me.”

Those things I keep to myself. Because I’m too proud to admit that losing my job has turned my world upside down and has changed the way we live our life.

I went to bed early last night (12:30 - that’s early compared to my standard 3am or later).  I went to bed early with hopes of getting UP early this morning.  You see, yesterday I was up at 8am and I enjoyed being up and have the entire day ahead of me and time to do the things I needed to get done.  It felt a lot better than sleeping until 1 in the afternoon.

But I’m also really sore from my accident over the weekend, so I took a muscle relaxer around dinner time hoping it would solve the tightness in my neck and enable me to turn my head a bit better.  When that didn’t do much, I took another one at bedtime and I crashed.

I crashed hard.

Mixing muscle relaxers with Vicodin always makes me tired (and yes, it’s all prescribed and legal…I’m my own walking pharmacy).  As soon as my head hit the pillow I was out cold.  I vaguely remember Dave getting up for work this morning and kissing me goodbye before I quickly fell asleep again.  That was at 8am…the time that I had wanted to get up and get my day STARTED.

I was awoken (is that a word?  It just sounds funny to me.  Hmm.) around 10:30 to some guy going around to all the apartments selling magazines.  He gave some spiel about how each subscription would give him points and when he hits “x” number of points he gets a FREE trip to Italy, OMG!  I was still half asleep and squinty eyed and in my pajamas and I’ve got some guy trying to convince me to buy a compilation of children’s books to send to a hospital and WTF?!?!  I just wanna be back in bed…

So after convincing him that, “Yes, I have enough magazine subscriptions” and “No, I don’t hate children, I just can’t afford your LOW LOW price of $65 for the ‘Animals at the Zoo’ compilation series”…he walked away with his tail between his legs and I knew I ruined his day in some way.

I went back to bed to be awoken (seriously…that just doesn’t sound right) again by the maintenance guys who were coming to look at our air conditioner that had stopped working yesterday.  It was blowing out HOT air.  Not what I intend my air conditioner to do.  So when he turned it on to look at it…it was workin FINE.  And to make it worse?  This is the second time it’s done this in the past week.  I call it in after hours to the emergency maintenance line, shut my air off for the night, die in a hot and humid apartment (can’t leave windows open because our cats will push the screens out and then whine to be let back in the apartment), only to have maintenance show up the next morning and turn the air back on and PRESTO…it works.

I’m not crazy.

…

Really.

So.  The point of this post was really to say how I didn’t get up early like I wanted and because I wasn’t up until 1pm, I feel like I’ve wasted the day.  And I was lazy.  Ok…I left the house to cash my check (but the irony is that it’s an UNemployment check…you DO see the irony in that right?).  Other than that, I made a few bucks online by doing some product reviews and then we ate leftovers for dinner and played Guitar Hero on the 360 (a new track pack was made available today for download…nothing like some awesome guitar songs by Buckethead, Joe Satriani, and Steve Vai).

Looking forward to lunch with Andrea (the BFF) and movie night with hubby and the boys (Nick and Will…my other unemployed buddies who got fired the same day with me) tomorrow.  Dave’s on call all weekend, but that just means more money, really.

My goodness, all day today I have felt hungry no matter how often I eat! It’s just one of those days where I eat something and it only satisfies my hunger for an hour or two before I feel the need to be eating or munching on something else.

I had a bowl of cereal for breakfast, followed by a big bowl of homemade chili for lunch. I was hungry before dinnertime, so I had a snack of a yogurt and english muffin with peanut butter on it (thinking the protein would satisfy my hunger!). A few hours later I served dinner (pasta salad, corn, and boneless BBQ ribs). Not long after that I shared a bag of popcorn with my husband and a friend while we watched a movie, and ate a small handful of chocolate covered peanuts. Now I just got done eating another bowl of cereal because my stomach was growling! And I’m still hungry…

I wonder if it’s hormones or something as it’s almost “that time of the month” and hormones are all out of whack.

What could it be and does this happen to you? It doesn’t happen to me very often but when it does I feel like such a pig!

I’ve had such a sweet tooth all evening (thank you PMS) and remembered that I had Betty Crocker Delights in the cupboard! I made the Double Chocolate Cake for Dave and the Chocolate Chip Fudge Cookie for myself. Really hit the spot with a tall glass of milk.

Even for Dave, who isn’t a big dessert eater, he finished his and said, “I wish there was more…!”

It’s the little things in life.

I’ve been without a job since the middle of March. That’s a long time, people. That’s over 4 months of me sitting at home, trying to amuse myself all day until Dave gets home from work. I fill my days with online paid surveys (we need the extra cash!), cleaning, menu planning, running errands, grocery shopping, and cooking. I have a growing list of blogs that I read via Google Feeder and I spend way too much time on the internet for my own damn good. Our TiVo hasn’t been cleaned out in weeks and I have a shelf overflowing with books I need to read.

I’m restless.

I love the time off. I love being able to spend my time each day however I please. I know that I should enjoy every last second because once I get a job and start classes again, I won’t have time to do the things I’ve become accustomed to over the past few months.

The only problem is, nobody is calling me back when I submit my resume. I’ve had 2 interviews since I lost my job, and they were within the first 2 weeks of being jobless. Since then? Nothing. Not one single phone call.

I’d like to think I’m not this useless!

I’d love it if we could afford for me to continue to be a stay at home wife. Then I could really settle into the “role” and not be stressed about all the what-ifs and questions that surround my going back to work in the (hopefully) near future. Instead, I don’t want to get too comfortable because I know it’s not going to last forever. Which leaves me feeling like I’m stuck in this middle ground where I can’t enjoy each day to the fullest of its potential. Rather, I’m worried and stressed and somewhat bored because I don’t want to let myself start to ENJOY it all too much.

This summer is going to fly by. We’ll be in Chicago for a week in August on a business trip for Dave’s job. Then we leave for Myrtle Beach exactly 3 weeks after we get back from Chicago. Once we get back from Myrtle Beach, classes start up again for me a few weeks after that. (Tuesdays and Thursdays I’m in class from 2-4p and 6-10p. Those are going to be some loooong days. I’m hoping I can do my homework and everything in the 2 hours between the 2 sets of classes from 4-6p, that way I will have more free time at home with Dave during the evenings and on weekends rather than worrying about homework.)

I just needed to rant a bit. My life feels like it’s going nowhere and I’ve gone from this successful young woman who had it all, to this whiny, unemployed girl who can’t find her place in life anymore…